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How To Get Rich

DIPA  |  7.7% ABV  |  60 IBU

We want to tell you about a dream. We found ourselves talking with John Wilson, when a Hummer limousine drove by. When you’re rich, you have a lot of money – so much so you get driven around in a Hummer limousine like it’s any old normal thing. Could this ever happen to us? Maybe if we find a way to get a lot of money? Or other valuable assets. So we talked to our accountant and they said finished beer is considered an asset. If we could just make more beer, we’d be on the path of getting rich. But that means we’d need to sell that beer to do so. So we responded to a few emails that claimed to only want a few moments of our time to talk about SEO and followers and brand recognition and vendor contact lists. They said, in order to sell beer, people need to find out about us, and we need to get more popular. We also need to optimize our exposure via online and in google searches, then we could attract influencers and post more pictures and videos of attractive people having fun while wearing our merchandise and drinking our beer. That would be ideal. Apparently, it doesn’t even matter what the beer is or what it tastes like, the beer is just a vehicle to make more money, so we can get rich. But – what if the beer is good too?! We needed to find this out, so we went to local trade forums and it seems like all these bros and bois ISO juice and sauce and thicc and smoothies and BBA and haze. We don’t know how to make many of those things, but we put some of the ingredients we had laying around the brewery all together and made a beer. We even added some Cryos. And it tastes good! Yum. Now we wait and watch the money come in so that someday we can be driven around in a Hummer limousine in real life with the actual John Wilson while we sip crispies and eat frozen pizza. That’s the dream right there.